I've recently been told by a friend that I'm "The Truth", something to do with the music I create and such. I don't find it nice to project such an image onto me or anyone else. There will be that incident some day where I will let you down and you'll see me as I really am, a petty, shallow and greedy being who sometimes makes poor choices, just like the rest of the human beings thank goodness.
Yes, I have my peculiar spiritual practice, I'm making honest music and I'm generally in a positive place these days and I work hard at creating that space for myself. Taking care of me I can create a better vibe for my friends, associates, students and family to be around. And I am a pretty cool dude, I do my best and that's all I can do.
I was 20 years old standing on the edge of a rooftop contemplating jumping off cause the girl I was obsessed with rejected me. In other words taking life way too seriously! I only have one memory of her now and that is something she said: "Dude you put me on a pedestal, it's lonely up there and someday you will knock me down". Words of wisdom. I'm grateful for that.
What did she mean? Well, in my insecurity I flooded her with compliments and praise. Really kinda manipulative, I wanted her to myself and wanted her near me. I was in a state of denial. She was just a human trying to find her way in this mad world and I wanted a companion so badly I was willing to throw myself off a building to prove it. Wow. Glad that's out of my system! Life rocks today!
So why do we do this? Form images of others and add to those images rather than just accept them? I've watched marriages fall apart after 30, 40, 10, 5 years with both people saying they feel like they don't know their partner. Is that such a bad thing? Isn't it better to be honest and admit you don't really know anyone especially your spouse? You know their patterns, habits, some stuff they say but you don't live in any ones head but your own. And me? I don't even know myself yet. Why would I pretend to know anything about you if I don't even know me? Why not start fresh and admit it every day and see those we love as fresh and alive, ever changing though maybe stuck in some old habits.
It's possible so why the "I know you and you are this" whether that is above or below or equal in your mind? Why not let all that go? If you do what happens? You may find you have more energy than you think you do. More energy to create a happy existence. Be greedy for joy, I see no problem with that. And those you disappoint, say sorry and move on. Can't say sorry for ever. Climb on down from that lonely pedestal you were placed upon and live your life the way you want to. You may find it weird and lonely getting off that platform, the comment I spoke of in the first paragraph gave my ego a little boost, I felt a bit of that sense of power. And I regret not saying "please don't do that, it's not nice what you said". In fact I'm waiting for the consequences now. So feel that loneliness and do your work. The one giving the compliment will find their way and you'll find yours.
JB
Yes, I have my peculiar spiritual practice, I'm making honest music and I'm generally in a positive place these days and I work hard at creating that space for myself. Taking care of me I can create a better vibe for my friends, associates, students and family to be around. And I am a pretty cool dude, I do my best and that's all I can do.
I was 20 years old standing on the edge of a rooftop contemplating jumping off cause the girl I was obsessed with rejected me. In other words taking life way too seriously! I only have one memory of her now and that is something she said: "Dude you put me on a pedestal, it's lonely up there and someday you will knock me down". Words of wisdom. I'm grateful for that.
What did she mean? Well, in my insecurity I flooded her with compliments and praise. Really kinda manipulative, I wanted her to myself and wanted her near me. I was in a state of denial. She was just a human trying to find her way in this mad world and I wanted a companion so badly I was willing to throw myself off a building to prove it. Wow. Glad that's out of my system! Life rocks today!
So why do we do this? Form images of others and add to those images rather than just accept them? I've watched marriages fall apart after 30, 40, 10, 5 years with both people saying they feel like they don't know their partner. Is that such a bad thing? Isn't it better to be honest and admit you don't really know anyone especially your spouse? You know their patterns, habits, some stuff they say but you don't live in any ones head but your own. And me? I don't even know myself yet. Why would I pretend to know anything about you if I don't even know me? Why not start fresh and admit it every day and see those we love as fresh and alive, ever changing though maybe stuck in some old habits.
It's possible so why the "I know you and you are this" whether that is above or below or equal in your mind? Why not let all that go? If you do what happens? You may find you have more energy than you think you do. More energy to create a happy existence. Be greedy for joy, I see no problem with that. And those you disappoint, say sorry and move on. Can't say sorry for ever. Climb on down from that lonely pedestal you were placed upon and live your life the way you want to. You may find it weird and lonely getting off that platform, the comment I spoke of in the first paragraph gave my ego a little boost, I felt a bit of that sense of power. And I regret not saying "please don't do that, it's not nice what you said". In fact I'm waiting for the consequences now. So feel that loneliness and do your work. The one giving the compliment will find their way and you'll find yours.
JB
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