Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Liar!

On any given day of the week you get lied to many times a day. If you follow the news you are simply asking to be lied to. I'd be lying if I said I've told the truth all of the time, I think sometimes we just didn't feel safe telling the truth at one point so to avoid painful consequences we learned to lie. Understandable. No need for judgement. I'm guilty of lying my ass off at times.

But what about our politicians, news casters, cell phone providers, insurance providers? Why is it that we watch and experience so much dis-honesty and accept it?

I had 2 sets of friends on Jerry Springer back in the 90's. Jerry was a true pioneer in 'reality televsion'. What I learned is it's pretty easy to get on that show. Make up a story about a lying and cheating boyfriend or girlfriend or both, throw in some lesbian stuff, sprinkle on a dominatrix bit and you got yourself a flight to Chicago, $200, a limo ride and a salmon dinner. Yes, both sets of friends completely bullshat their way onto national "reality TV". No surprise. One of the guys was even asked back cause he was cute and way too many women wrote in asking for a date with "Andrew", which was the name they gave him on the show. The girl he chose to date was asked why she liked him and she replied "I just find Andrew so honest!"

I asked him how did he pull it off? He told me he didn't think he could but once that red light comes on signifying the cameras are rolling, he just felt this strange new sense of power. America is watching and it's suddenly easy to lie, lie and lie some more!

When I moved to Portland in 1995 I got a job at a theater lighting factory. I became fast friends with a guy named Carl. He was black and his family was from the south. We bonded over the fact that nobody in the workplace understood our humor and therefore we messed with peoples heads all day, every day. One morning I decided I was going to lie to my co workers, all day long. Make up tall tales, stuff nobody would believe. We had a dart board and I was asked to play a game during a break. I said I couldn't because I've never been beaten since 1984 and that well, I haven't played since then either. I made a sad face and was asked "so what happened?" I said "I really don't like to talk about Mexico." "What happened in Mexico?" "Um, yeah, not comfortable talking about the circus...." Long story short I alluded to my 'knife throwing days' when I had an accident and had to give it up.

Trouble is with lying is, well, just like those Nazis said, the bigger the lie the more apt people are to believe it. People bought my stories hook, line and sinker!

By 11 am I felt that strange sense of power. I could write my own story with these folks. Carl got it, nobody else did. I could be someone. I could be bigger than I actually was. Not only did I feel powerful, I also felt nauseous. I felt dirty. Sick. Kinda out of my body.

I suddenly understood my pathological liar Godbrother Lyin' Brian. I never believed him. Oh he tried out for the Olympics once. His family threw a huge barbecue party for him to send him off. All of it was jive. I saw him 4 months later. I asked him about the tryouts (he raced Carl Lewis at Howard University and Carl beat him by 1/2 a second and told him to try out! Mmmm Hmmm. Yeah....) and he tells me he didn't make it to the tryouts. "Really? Hmmm. What happened?" Oh he got cancer of the testicles, they had to remove one and replace it, then he got pneumonia and that just ended yesterday and here he was at my house telling me all this bullshit! I said "Brian, it sounds like you simply didn't have the balls to try out!" That may be the last time I ever spoke to him. I don't have the patience for it. He needs help. God bless him. I hope he gets that help. With lying you have to tell more lies to cover up the ones you already put out there. It never ends. It must be exhausting. I wonder if he ever feels that nausea I felt that day.

So I wonder what our Presidents must feel. And I say Presidents cause they all lie. Lie to the whole country, the whole world. I wonder about that. If I could feel so mighty making up stories about a Mexican knife throwing circus act accident to a few co-workers, I wonder what it must feel like to have a nation listening. That must feel kinda awful, or maybe awesome, or maybe a mixture of both?

Blessings, JB

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