I've been thinking about joy a lot lately, when have I been the most joyous. I think I have to say it was when I moved to Los Angeles in 2010. It was the first time since I was 14 that I didn't have a day job. See, I was 42 so that's 28 years of work, school, work, school, plan for a vacation, have tos, shoulds.
Yikes. I'm a slow person, at least when I'm not pretending to be anything else. I like slow food, slow driving, I like noticing this wonderful life. I think the world has gone mad with all its rushing around.
So I got this little studio apartment in Echo Park. I had some money from the business I sold and was at the start of a new life. I did not want to go back to the same old career I had, but I also did not have any clear idea of what I did want. Truth is I actually did, I just couldn't admit I want a successful career as a musician. But more on that later. What was so groovy about those first 4 months? No job? Shouldn't I panic?
I did panic. Every morning I'd wake up and panic. "Oh shit! What am I going to do for money? What should I do today? Look for work?"
Hell with that, my work is music today.
So I would write music all day, every day. I learned to live well with not much. Yeah, it got deprivational. When the sun went down I had no light in my bedroom, so I would, um, go to bed. When the sun rose I would wake up with it. If I didn't want to go to bed I got so in tune with my friends in Beverly Hills I could walk outside and feel the fried chicken Dave Cousin cooked 10 miles away. I'd show up and he'd say "how do you always know when it's fried chicken night?!" Just call it being in tune.
I'd wake up often and would have no idea what day of the week it was. That was heaven. It didn't matter. I had left the matrix. I could feel a bit of what those who live in nature could feel. Time disappeared and joy appeared.
I am creating this in my life again. Just that little stretch where I got to experience this felt sane. I like sanity.
Thank you, JB
Yikes. I'm a slow person, at least when I'm not pretending to be anything else. I like slow food, slow driving, I like noticing this wonderful life. I think the world has gone mad with all its rushing around.
So I got this little studio apartment in Echo Park. I had some money from the business I sold and was at the start of a new life. I did not want to go back to the same old career I had, but I also did not have any clear idea of what I did want. Truth is I actually did, I just couldn't admit I want a successful career as a musician. But more on that later. What was so groovy about those first 4 months? No job? Shouldn't I panic?
I did panic. Every morning I'd wake up and panic. "Oh shit! What am I going to do for money? What should I do today? Look for work?"
Hell with that, my work is music today.
So I would write music all day, every day. I learned to live well with not much. Yeah, it got deprivational. When the sun went down I had no light in my bedroom, so I would, um, go to bed. When the sun rose I would wake up with it. If I didn't want to go to bed I got so in tune with my friends in Beverly Hills I could walk outside and feel the fried chicken Dave Cousin cooked 10 miles away. I'd show up and he'd say "how do you always know when it's fried chicken night?!" Just call it being in tune.
I'd wake up often and would have no idea what day of the week it was. That was heaven. It didn't matter. I had left the matrix. I could feel a bit of what those who live in nature could feel. Time disappeared and joy appeared.
I am creating this in my life again. Just that little stretch where I got to experience this felt sane. I like sanity.
Thank you, JB
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