I just noticed something in my meditation this morning. My mind loves future fantasy and loves the past. There is no drama in the now as I sit in my bed writing this. Even with my eyes closed my mind drifted off to the future, writing this blog post. "Ooh, here's what I shall write! Zzzzz".
And the second my mind wanders off I can feel myself sleep. I'm struggling a bit with exhaustion. Mental mostly, some physical. I spend a lot of time working really hard on the past and the future. It's no wonder I'm so tired.
The past is a nightmare and the future is a dream. Nostalgia is not my friend, it's a bottle of cheap whiskey and I'm a drunk when I go down memory lane. I prefer the fantasy of the future. The future is acid and I'm Timothy Leary or one of those hippies. Still, it's work and it's not particularly useful. The angels that be put me right here, right now for some reason I shall perhaps never know. I can only trust their reasons are good.
When I have no past and no future, I feel awake. I feel energized. No need for coffee. No need to rush, no need to think, only be and act.
I'm only writing this to remind myself, the rest doesn't matter.
-JB
And the second my mind wanders off I can feel myself sleep. I'm struggling a bit with exhaustion. Mental mostly, some physical. I spend a lot of time working really hard on the past and the future. It's no wonder I'm so tired.
The past is a nightmare and the future is a dream. Nostalgia is not my friend, it's a bottle of cheap whiskey and I'm a drunk when I go down memory lane. I prefer the fantasy of the future. The future is acid and I'm Timothy Leary or one of those hippies. Still, it's work and it's not particularly useful. The angels that be put me right here, right now for some reason I shall perhaps never know. I can only trust their reasons are good.
When I have no past and no future, I feel awake. I feel energized. No need for coffee. No need to rush, no need to think, only be and act.
I'm only writing this to remind myself, the rest doesn't matter.
-JB
